Summer’s side effects

I’m a terrible speller

Thank goodness for the spell checker which ranks in my top five favorite inventions alongside:

• refrigerated cookie dough
• microwave
• hair dye
• SPANX

An interesting unrelated observation:
The creation of SPANX is directly related to the invention of refrigerated cookie dough.

On the other hand, my daughter is a brilliant speller. She easily makes a 100% on every spelling test, and I’m jealous of her natural ability to spell.

The lunch list

I asked the two older kids to write down what they wanted in their lunch boxes since school starts Tuesday.

My son came to tell me his because he is too lazy to find a pencil. “Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, water, and a banana.” Easy enough.

I found my daughter’s list, written in florescent pink crayon, on my desk. Keep in mind, she’s going into 7th grade and is an honors student. Reading over the list, I was horrified to discover her brain had rotted during summer vacation.

• Kool-aid
• PB&J sandwhich
• fruit (watermelon or somethin)
• chips (barbique chipz)
• dessert – anything

Yikes! I feel horrible for the teachers this week as they attempt to remold students’ mushy brains.

An appropriate gift

Rather than send in the stereotypical red apple for the teacher, I’ve opted for the more appropriate gift of wine.