September 14, 2020
I’m a loyal Apprentice viewer and am thrilled the show is back on! I’ve been a Donald Trump fan ever since I was in college and read his book.
I want to meet him, sit in the board room, and have him fire me! That would be AWESOME!
Dear Donald, Have your people call my people and let’s do lunch because I’m sure you already tried to call me and got my secretary who didn’t give me the message so please try again.
OK so “my people” is just my four year old because I don’t actually have a secretary, and she would probably answer the phone saying:
“Mommy’s Office. *giggle* She’s in the bathroom….*giggle*…I have a new Barbie that sparkles. Do you know what I want for Christmas? Do you know Santa?”
I know you can’t buy professionalism like that. It’s a gift.
I want to meet him, sit in the board room, and have him fire me! That would be AWESOME!
Dear Donald, Have your people call my people and let’s do lunch because I’m sure you already tried to call me and got my secretary who didn’t give me the message so please try again.OK so “my people” is just my four year old because I don’t actually have a secretary, and she would probably answer the phone saying:
“Mommy’s Office. *giggle* She’s in the bathroom….*giggle*…I have a new Barbie that sparkles. Do you know what I want for Christmas? Do you know Santa?”
I know you can’t buy professionalism like that. It’s a gift.
I’m going to assume my secretary’s lack of writing ability might have something to do with my not getting an invite.
I would go nuts over the chance to be on that show, but with three kids that is just a fantasy. Getting my kids to clean the house would make a great challenge for the teams, but I wasn’t consulted on the tasks.
After being swamped with work the last week, the house is beginning to resemble a “Hoarders” episode due to the fact that little one is like a tornado in the mess-making department, and I haven’t had the time or energy to stay on top of it. One of those weeks.
You know when you hit the breaking point…one mess too many…and you sort of turn into The Hulk momentarily? I got there today.
Dinner was in the board room (the big table only used when company comes), so they knew something was up. I passed out a copy of the chart (our agenda, so to speak) so we could discuss the dividing up of chores. People agreed to cleaning their small part of the world but argued they didn’t use the rest of the house.
I ended that argument right away.
“So that means you never go in the bathroom, right? You also don’t get something to eat out of the kitchen? Because if that is true, I’ve been wasting money buying food and I’ll stop.”
The penalty for not doing your assignments? Surrender your cell phone or “blankie” for the weekend. Yes, I hit them where it hurts.
The meeting concluded with my mentioning that if the house didn’t return to a normal state of clean by the end of the week, “Someone is going to be fired!”. I felt the empowerment of those words, and the kids looked like they believed I was serious this time.
I desperately need to discuss my financial strategies for building a Monopoly with Trump.
Either he lost my phone number or discussing strategies on how to best build an empire of properties and lucrative hotels isn’t the same when it has to do with Monopoly the board game. Rats! Because little one keeps landing on “Free Parking” and winning.
I would go nuts over the chance to be on that show, but with three kids that is just a fantasy. Getting my kids to clean the house would make a great challenge for the teams, but I wasn’t consulted on the tasks.
So, why wait for an invitation to the show?
I created my own board room episode tonight, and guess what? I got to play Trump’s role. It’s the exhausted, “I’ve had it up to here” mom version which, trust me, is much more intimidating.After being swamped with work the last week, the house is beginning to resemble a “Hoarders” episode due to the fact that little one is like a tornado in the mess-making department, and I haven’t had the time or energy to stay on top of it. One of those weeks.
You know when you hit the breaking point…one mess too many…and you sort of turn into The Hulk momentarily? I got there today.
This week’s challenge: reactivating the chore chart
I’m enthusiastically ready to take on the seemingly impossible task of policing the posted chore chart this week. Despite the fact the chore chart is displayed on the refrigerator in all it’s color-coded splendor, it seems to be invisible to the kids. Someone scribbled on it. Respect the chart people!Dinner was in the board room (the big table only used when company comes), so they knew something was up. I passed out a copy of the chart (our agenda, so to speak) so we could discuss the dividing up of chores. People agreed to cleaning their small part of the world but argued they didn’t use the rest of the house.
I ended that argument right away.
“So that means you never go in the bathroom, right? You also don’t get something to eat out of the kitchen? Because if that is true, I’ve been wasting money buying food and I’ll stop.”
The penalty for not doing your assignments? Surrender your cell phone or “blankie” for the weekend. Yes, I hit them where it hurts.
The Vote
Vote? Ha! There was no vote to approve the new chore chart. I’m the boss.The meeting concluded with my mentioning that if the house didn’t return to a normal state of clean by the end of the week, “Someone is going to be fired!”. I felt the empowerment of those words, and the kids looked like they believed I was serious this time.
I could be the next Apprentice
Donald would be so proud of my board room performance tonight. It was disappointing that I wasn’t sent back to a fancy suite to indulge in an elaborate feast, but instead was left with the dinner dishes to do since my daughter pointed out that I said the chart starts tomorrow not tonight. (It was her night for dishes.)I desperately need to discuss my financial strategies for building a Monopoly with Trump.
Either he lost my phone number or discussing strategies on how to best build an empire of properties and lucrative hotels isn’t the same when it has to do with Monopoly the board game. Rats! Because little one keeps landing on “Free Parking” and winning.