September 3, 2020
Yes today is the big day
Guess what I got for my birthday? No, not jewelry. No, not some cool new techno gadget. I got a bladder infection. I know…I can hardly contain my excitement.I don’t recall that being on my Top Ten list, and I’m thinking maybe I wasn’t clear enough. My birthday weekend was spent lying on the couch in pain half the day while watching the house fall apart.
Beating Diner Dash so I could finally get that pointless, time-wasting addiction off my phone was a bonus.
Gifts from my son:
He just said “Happy Birthday”. At least he acknowledged it. I think he almost said “Dude” but stopped short.Gifts from my daughter
A note quickly scribbled on notebook paper saying “Happy Birthday” given to me the night before “in case I forget.” She added three years to my age. It is closer than the 65 she guessed earlier this week, but not enough for her to get out of being grounded for it. It’s like the Price is Right. If you overbid, you’re out of luck.Gifts from the 4 year old included:
- (a) Birthday carpet – It’s like a pretty decorated cake…only it’s not. She carefully and painstakingly spread an entire tub of small multi-colored beads evenly around the living room carpet. I also found them glued to the floor of Polly Pocket’s house using juice. I guess juice-beaded carpet is all the rage in Polly World. I assume she was going for a similar style on my carpet since I found 7 CapriSuns squished flat among the beads. Oops..I may have spoiled a birthday surprise when I cleaned it up.
- (b) Birthday games In addition to the beads, she also spread out a deck of cards, a jar’s worth of buttons, all the pieces to the marble raceway, and Polly pocket stuff. I really enjoyed the birthday sorting game, but for future reference, I prefer Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
- (c) Avoiding bath time? Trying to spare me the chore of helping her take a shower, she washed her hair using large amounts of her own combination of Johnson’s Baby Wash, Suave strawberry shampoo, and possibly shaving cream (based on the strange smell)…without running water. She rinsed her hair by the sink using 2 wads of wet toilet paper, so you can imagine the result. I appreciate the effort, but now the shower I was going to skip seems to be an urgent necessity.
- (d) Not stopping up toilet using an entire roll of toilet paper, and that is always a good…rare…day.
Who wouldn’t be feeling better after all those gifts?
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Reminiscing
I think back to the most memorable birthday present I ever received. An orange lava lamp, which was carefully selected by the kids all by themselves. Proudly displayed in the room painted green, I was able to enjoy the breath-taking color-combination of my favorite holiday, Halloween, 365 days a year. Two years later I claimed it was a fire hazard, and it suspiciously “disappeared.”The good news is…
- Victoria Secret’s sent me a $10 off coupon for a new bra which is fantastic because now I will only have to suffer being stabbed in the back by the bent clasps 4 out of every 5 days. Whoo hoo!!! This also reduces the risk of it coming undone while standing in the grocery store line. There’s just no graceful way to fix that in public.
- I feel better today! YAY! Almost normal enough to tackle the mess.
- This weekend I did get to sneak away for a couple of hours for a yummy birthday lunch with one of my best friends. Thanks, Karen! and then…the greatest gift of all
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