What I could have done with $900

Over the past three months, my dog has cost me a grand total of $900. Is he worth it? I’m still thinking.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the dog. You do, however, have to understand that I was outvoted on adding him to the family. We have the world’s only non-barking Sheltie. I think that’s because when he arrived, my daughter was still taking naps. I may have said “No barking!” to him 1000 times, so that could be my fault.
He did spring into action a few times when wild animals were outside the window. Standing in military-like attention and with great urgency he barked as a harmless armadillo wandered into the porch. However, his wild animal notification skills proved to be useless when it comes to watching the INSIDE of the house. A mouse ran free for months, and he slept through three snake incidents.

The latest expense was for removing a bad tooth and a dental cleaning. A dental cleaning, by the way, is about $300 for a dog and about $90 for a child. After realizing I couldn’t just throw a baseball cap on him and take him to the kids’ dentist, I gave in.

I was just thinking about what I would have rather spent $900 on:

• 1) Trip to the beach with the kids
• 2) A new TV
• 3) The Gucci bag I drool over in Nordstrom’s while window shopping in the “I can’t afford to even look at that” section.
• 4) A trip for 4 to Universal Studios to see the new Harry Potter world
• 5) 5 trips to the salon to aid in the denial that I have any grey hair
• 6) A cool wooden castle fort with a slide for my four year old

Instead, for $900 I got his extracted tooth…in a clear sandwich baggie.

The vet handed me the molar, and the girls let out an “Ewww” in a way that was half “GROSS!” and half “COOOOL!” The technician said we might want to put it under his pillow in case the tooth fairy came to visit. My eldest daughter questioned, “What would he do with $2?” Well for starters he could start paying off that $900 tab. Let’s hope the tooth fairy is feeling generous.

$900 dog

After steering what appeared to be our $900
drunk dog, still half under anesthesia, to the car, he looked very cute as he was passed out in my daughter’s lap. Maybe he is worth it after all.
As expected, a fight ensued over who got to hold the bloody tooth on the way home.

I’ve decided to bronze the tooth and mount it.

It’s going to look fabulous on the entertainment center where the new TV would have gone.